Sunday, August 25, 2013

Behemoth - Slaves Shall Serve

Do you have kids?
One or more little rascals that you love sometimes and that can drive you completely insane other times?
I do.
And as we are going to discuss something very important today, you'll have to either imagine that you have kids, or take everything that is written from now on in this post with a bit of patience (obviously depending on the answer you gave to the initial question).
Yes, we are going to discuss the musical education of the kids.
Or, as I've called it in a column at my own blog, "The Highway To Hell".
It is a long post that stakes the way from "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" to the extremest of metal, and I actually once posted it on Facebook.
Big mistake.
Should not have done that.
Swedes - or, at least, the acquaintances I have on Facebook - seemed to take everything deadly serious, and have had comments regarding my unwillingness to let my children choose their own path.
Come on - I love my kids, and even though it sometimes feels that the worst things they could put me through is join the church and become politically active, I would support them no matter what!

I would like them to become rockers, and I'll admit straight away: I try to influence them, and make it so.
I even have a plan. A 6 step way to drag them with me to hell (by the way, don't you just love the first picture, the top one? It's by Soul on Deviant Art, a great place to find everything art related you need!).
I'll not go into them in depth, but the steps are, in short:

1) Basic rytm and singing. This is the baby months, and include all the known children tunes like "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star".
2) Rock'n'Roll and Metal basics. Easy classics that can make any child dance and want to sing along. AC/DC, IRON MAIDEN and the likes. 
3) Faster, Dirtier. The next phase of metal, introducing METALLICA and their brethren...
4) Growl. Learning how to enjoy metal with vocals that are not clean is a big step, and to help me with that I will call upon the likes of IN FLAMES and AMORPHIS.
5) ...The madness is spreading. Once accepting growl, a landscape of more extreme metal opens up. this landscape is inhabited by BEHEMOTH, BOLT THROWER and black metal acts like WATAIN and MARDUK.
6) Beyond the realms of sanity. After realising that the acts mentioned in step 5 are really not the most extreme metal there is, you'll want to look further, and into the eyes of acts like NASUM, FUNERAL MIST and others.

A crash-course in how to became a metal head.
I have two boys. One is turning 5 soon enough, and the other is 2.
Even though they were both headbanging to THE SWORD the other day, I'd say that they are really at stage one and two.
This is the most popular rockalbum/son so far:

They are officially called VAN HALEN, but the housename from my kids are "THE BABIES", obviously due to the brilliant cover.
The song, of course, is "Jump".
Yes, it has been played over and over. In the radio, on parties, karaoke nights and dance floors, and it is a song that you might be a bit fed up with...but there is no denying that this song has that quality that makes it a classic that can really lure kids into rock'n'roll.
So, todays tune is something completelly different.
It is a song from the level were I feel comfortable myself - after all, the path takes a lifetime to walk...

This is BEHEMOTH, with the tune "Slaves Shall Serve". It is taken from the album "Demigod", a small master-piece if you ask me. Nowadays, the band has fought off religious madness in their homeland Poland, frontman Nergals leukemia and turned into one the bands with the fanciest video productions of all metal bands (surch YouTube for videos to "Ov Fire And The Void" or "Alas, The Lord Is Upon Me" and ypu'll see what I mean).
This is also a kind of music were I am at comfortable.
I listen to more aggressive, challenging and extreme metal as well, but that still takes a toll on me and I have to focus to appriciate a band like NAPALM DEATH in their grindy moments.

I am evil, devious and a parent with a plan.
I want to share rock'n'roll concerts with my kids, and be able to give them an education within the records of rock'n'roll and metal.
Don't try and say that you are so different, even though your hopes might not be for them to become full-blown metal heads with their ears filled with semi-satanic music....

More info @

The Rebel Angel Ramblings Blog
Official Behemoth Web

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